A Letter from Kivi's Friend
 
NOTE: The author of this beautiful letter would like to remain anonymous. Accordingly, identifying information has been redacted.
 
To the Ehrenpreis family, ad mei'ah ve'es'rim,
 
What can I say or write about my dear friend Kivi zt"l.  I wish I had enough paper to express my thoughts and feelings about him.  I could go on for pages and it would still not be enough.  What should I say; we weren't zo'cheh to have him be mash'pi'ah on us any longer.  I can't begin to tell you how close I felt to him and how much he did for me.  Suffice it to say that a lot of who I am today came from him.  Allow me to repeat to you what I told Dr. Ehrenpreis z"l a few years ago.  I remember it like Yesterday.  It was Erev Shabbos when Kivi was in Methodist Hospital not too long after his ordeal started. Dr. Ehrenpreis was there with him, and since the hour was late he asked me for a ride home.  During the ride home, I was blown away by the smile that never left his face and his simchas ha'chaim even under such circumstances, (when I was having a hard time from controlling myself from crying).  I couldn't contain myself from telling him, "I just want you to know that the reason why so many people are involved in Kivi, you may feel, is because it's a big chesed and people feel bad for you and him. Really, it is the exact opposite.  The reason we are so Involved is because of how much he helped and was involved in each of us.  The fact that so many friends went out of their way to travel to his chasuna in Chicago was due to the special connection that each individual felt to him because of what he did for him."  I am sure this is how many other people feel as well. For this reason I always thought about Kivi and always wanted to visit him, even though it was always so difficult to see him is such a state.  It also brought me and continues to bring me feelings of guilt for the many times that I didn't visit, for I looked at  visiting him as if I was being po'rei'ah a chov - paying him back for all that he did for me.
 
I never forgot about Kivi.  I thought about him and davened for him all the time.  I have had many dreams about him, and always wished that he would wake up so that I would be able to tell him where I am holding today, but the re'bo'no shel o'lam decided otherwise.
 
I would like to apologize for not being there in the past few years.  It wasn't because I forgot.  I had my own personal challenges that I was busy with on top of the fact that I don't live in Brooklyn, which held me back from coming in to visit, (even though I probably could have made an extra effort many of times).
 
Let me tell you a little bit about what Kivi did for me.  When I was going to learn in Eretz Yisroel for the first time, Kivi took me under his wing and told me that there was an available bed in his Chaim Berlin dirah.  Kivi took care of me.  Even though the other boys were very nice to me and we all got along well, it was Kivi who made sure I was happy, learning and shtei'ging.  He also made sure that I made the most out of my stay in Eretz Yisroel by taking me to various special people and places in Eretz Yisroel. He kept on pushing me and didn't settle for less.  "Stay up the whole Thursday night and daven ki'va'si'kin at the kosel.  I'm telling you it will make you learn better and feel good about yourself."  How, could I say no to such a person!  Especially after seeing him without exaggeration coming back from the beis medrash just about every night after 2 am only to be out of the dirah by 7:30 the next morning (When not "everyone else" was thinking of getting up yet).  This was in addition to staying up almost every Thursday night until ki'va'si'kin, then sleeping for about two hours and getting up to go to various shiurim.  How could I not want to follow his example when I knew what his physical condition was; yet he was still able to keep to such a schedule.  This schedule didn't stop him from all his chesed work.  Whether it was helping other boys going through hard times, or being mech'az'eik his sisters on the phone, he was always there for everyone whether a ya'chid or ra'bim.

He had a way with people.  They sensed that he cared and understood them.  It didn't matter what their background was.  He was able to connect with so many different kinds of people, whether they learned in yeshiva or davened by the Young Israel or Rabbi Kahn's shul.  All felt a connection and were inspired by him.  Even his rabbeim, roshei yeshivos and local rabonim were inspired and awed by him.  He wasn't just a nice person with a big smile for all us.  He continued to demand of us to better ourselves and didn't accept no for an answer.  He used to always tell me "you have to want to do it and then you'll do it".  How could someone ignore a person like this?
 
Besides for his learning, what kept him going was music and ni'gunim.  On shabbos and other occasions he used to get the o'lam together, (with his "sponsored" cholent and nosh) to sing and say divrei torah.  He loved singing gam ki ei'leich bi'gei tzal'ma'ves and used to push me on Friday nights to sing.  He sang with such dev'ei'kos and it gave him chi'yus.  This brings back memories of when we got together a group of friends to make a kum'zitz in Kivi's apartment on Chanukah a couple of years ago.  We also did the same when he was in Kingston.  The feeling we all had was that we hoped with the ko'ach of our music we could wake him up.  We had so much chiz'uk when we got a smile from him.
 
When Kivi got engaged we were so happy for him.  Boruch Hashem he had found a kallah that saw and appreciated his true gadlus and understood what a zechus it was to have such a husband.  With this, his eishes chayil was able to take care with such tremendous dedication and devotion, which was recognized by all who were involved and who came to visit.  Hakadosh Baruch Hu ye'shalem sechara ugomer...
 
I would just like to end with what I have been thinking about over the past few weeks since his petirah.  I made a calculation that in all probability between all the times that Kivi was in and out of the hospital throughout his life, from his bar mitzvah and on, he probably didn't have even 10 years that he was able to devote his life to learn yomam va'lay'lah as he wanted to. Yet we see the hash'pah he had on so many people through his Torah. It is known that Hagaon R' Akiva Eiger Zt"l asked to have written on his matzeiva, she'la'mad torah mi'toch ye'su'rim, not that his chi'du'shei Torah, seforim or pes'ak'im were learned and accepted as part of the mesorah by all of Klal Yisroel, nor the fact that he was the Gadol Hador. Just these four words, because this goan knew and understood that this was his biggest zechus. The same with Kivi. How many ye'su'rim did he have throughout his short life?  Can we even begin to understand? Especially in the past seven and a half years, besides his physical pain of which we can't ever know, but what about the emotional pain of one who had dreams of how he could impact the world through his Torah and ahavas yisroel.  A person who lived to inspire others and was being held back from doing so!  These ye'su'rim could not possibly have been for him.
 
Therefore, it is clear to me that a person who survived and functioned not al pi de'rech ha'te'vah for so many years, but was then taken from us in such a way, must be a message that we weren't zo'cheh to continue having such a ka'dosh amongst us.  At least Kivi's family members and those who had the ze'chus of taking care of him, as hard as it was for them, at least they had the tremendous zechus of caring for such a tzaddik.  But what about the rest of us?
 
I will never forget Kivi's warmth and simchas ha'chaim, and I am eternally grateful for the chizuk that he gave me, and for the privilege of having a close kesher with him.  I hope that this letter will be a nech'am'ah for your whole family, myself, friends and Klal Yisroel and may we see only yi'shu'os ve'nech'am'os bi'vi'as mo'shi'ach bim'hei'rah vi'ya'mei'nu amein.
 
Sincerely,