Kivi zt”l
By Kiki Ehrenpreis

Why does he cherish the wisdom of old and delight in its study each day...

As a teenage girl, my brother’s Torah learning was something I could not relate to at all. I hated studying. How could he spend hours and hours learning every day - and love it?

He knows only Torah can nourish his soul...

Back then in high school I went through some problems of my own, of course nothing near the level of severe illness that Kivi had been through. I remember sitting with him at the dining room table telling him how hard it was for me to understand why Hashem was giving me the difficulties that I had. Kivi told me that if he had never gotten sick, he would have just been a “regular” kid. But his illness caused him to focus on what his life was really for. Instead of losing his bitachon, his suffering motivated him to devote himself to Torah.

Torah, without you I surely would die; Lulay Sorascha sha’ashuai

I once asked Kivi to describe to me what learning was like for him on such an intense level. He said that sometimes it could be hard, but when it went really well, like when he was learning with a really good chavrusa, it had the power to set his heart on fire.

Torah you’ve given my spirit to me

I remember when I was still in high school we once decided to learn together. He got out Rabeinu Yona’s Shaarei Teshuva and we sat together at the dining room table. I admit we spent a lot of the time shmoozing; I’m sure he didn’t learn the same way with his chavrusas. To this day I remember very little of what we actually even discussed, but it meant so much to me that Kivi gave his time to learn with me, his little sister.

...Ki vam chiyisani

Later, during his years in the coma, I would come to learn with him again. I carried a pocket-sized English translation of Chovos HaLevavos or Michtav Me’Eliyahu, and I would read aloud to him in his hospital bed. I never knew for sure what he could hear, what he understood, but I hoped that somehow the words would penetrate his unconsciousness.

Come with me, little Neshome’le...

At the levaya, Kivi’s Rebbe Rav Pinchas Kahn said that when Kivi got drunk on Purim he would grab onto his hand and say, “I won’t let go until you promise to learn kol HaTorah kulo with me.”

But dear Malech’l no, I don’t want to go... there is so much pain and evil upon the earth below

Kivi was in a coma for a total of 2709 days. In the first week of his original illness he was unconscious for over 48 hours of multiple surgeries.

Yes dear Malech’l I can see Kedusha over there... look! Someone’s learning Torah...there’s another deep in prayer

A daf yomi cycle is 2711 days, one day to learn every page of Gemara.

Come with me, little Neshome’le... to a place above the land

A talmid once noticed that the Arizal appeared to be speaking in his sleep. The Arizal explained to him that when he would sleep, his neshama would ascend and Malachim would come and greet him. One Malach would ask the Arizal to choose a yeshiva to learn in.  He would then be taken to the yeshiva where he would learn secrets of the Torah. The talmid asked him to reveal what he had learned in his sleep. The Arizal said that even if he would speak for 80 years straight, he could not give over what he had learned in even that one dream (Shivchei HaAri).

But dear Malech’l, no, I don’t want to go, I’m not ready to go with you

2709 is also the gematria of “Toras Hashem temima meshivas nafesh” (Tehillim, 19:8). Rashi explains this to mean that Torah has the power to turn one back from the ways of death to life.

Let me stay right where I am, there’s so much more I need to do

My family and I would often dream of Kivi waking up... even his daughter Etty mimicked us when she was little saying that she had a “Tatty waking up dream”. In my dreams I would always ask him what he had experienced while he was in a coma - I wanted to know, what did he hear? Did he know when we were talking to him?

Come with me, little Neshome’le

Now that he’s gone we have no way to know what Kivi was going through all those days and months and years, what he was experiencing while we held onto his hand in this world and his soul was somewhere beyond us.

I’ve only come to take you home

Kivi loved to learn the Ramchal’s Mesillas Yesharim, which describes the path to achieving kedusha in one’s life. The Ramchal says that ultimately when the truly holy person reaches the level of cleaving to Hashem continuously, he has the ability to walk b’artzos hachaim, in the “Land of the Living,” while still being here on this world.

And there is no need to fear your destination

Kivi ‘s life revolved around Torah. He went into the coma in the days leading up to Mattan Torah and he died on Motzai Shabbos after Simchas Torah seven years later. The Sfas Emes states that while Shavuos celebrates the potential of future Torah learning, Simchas Torah represents the joy of fulfilment on its completion.

You’ve earned a place right by the throne

Tzaddikim she’bmisassan nikriu chaim (Brachos, 18). In death, the body finally rests, but the soul attaches to the Mekor Hachaim.

A place right by the throne....
 

“Lulei Sorascha” & “Neshomele” by Abie Rotenberg (Journeys) are the two songs that Kivi considered for walking down the aisle at his wedding. He chose “Neshomele” because he felt it would be arrogant to identify himself so directly with Torah.

Special thanks to Shmuel Cohen who first told me the story of the Arizal in connection to my brother’s coma, and to Moshe Yechezkel Goldberg who researched the story.

Please note that the technical medical term for Kivi’s condition is persistent vegetative state. Generally an actual coma does not last longer than a few weeks (mayoclinic.com).